Trolley On the Loose
by Yukishibemura
Summary: What could go wrong by just shopping in a hyper market? Nagumo, Suzuno, Sakuma, Aphrodi and Genda had create a chaos with using only TROLLEY! /"Blondie! Stop saying things I don't understand!"/"Sinting! Edan! Sarap! Bubur Kacang Ijo!"/"What? You are marrying a MASSAGER CHAIR?"/"iPAD-CHAN! Don't die! I'll give you the kiss of life!"/"In the barbie world!"/ Rated T for language.
1. Trolley Chaos!

**A/N: Hello, Minna! This is some crazy story. This story is inspired by real life (my life). It happened on a night when my family was shopping in a hyper market and this crazy thing happen.**

**Forgive me if it's not funny. Cuz I'm not really good in putting words in sentences. Especially when its humor related =w=**

**Mind the words, there are some rough and not-so-good ones, remember that Nagumo is here, and also the guys here are grown-ups! Expect what adults say when they got angry or mad in an arguments!**

* * *

**~Trolley on the Loose~**

* * *

"Why should I come along with you guys again?" asked Aphrodi as he crossed his arms.

Genda rolled his eyes, Suzuno shrugged, Nagumo sighed and Sakuma is ready to punch him.

"Isn't it obvious because you are the one and the only who take cares of the food and stuff among the five of us at home. You'll be the one picking up the groceries and such," explained Genda as he turned off the car's engine.

Oh, that's right. Aphrodi, Suzuno, Naguno, Sakuma and Genda had been very good friends in High School and they got closer in college since they went to the same university. And now, they're living together in the same HOUSE in a villa. Remember, it's HOUSE! Not an apartment. So it's big enough for the five of them. They'd divide the housework job fair and equally. And the reason they're going to the hyper market is because they're out of food stock.

"And why did you guys come along then? I mean, I could do this myself if I should just do it," asked Aphrodi again.

"Because we also have other stuffs to buy, Terumi. Now, will you stop complaining?" Suzuno added and only get a reply of "yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Listen blondie, if you could just shut that big mouth of yours, I'll be grateful to you that I don't need to slap you!" huffed Sakuma as he got off from the car. "Can we get going now?"

"Hmph! Acting like as if you can beat me that easily when you know that you ain't no match for me!"

"Why you little … –"

"Please, duo beauties. Will you guys zip it and can we just go inside and buy the stuffs we're going to buy?" An irritated and annoyed tone could be heard in Nagumo's voice. For whatever reason it is he doesn't seems to be in his usual personality right now (and the whole journey from home to the hyper market).

Sakuma huffed again and Aphrodi just rolled his eyes as he got off from the car. And finally they entered the hyper market.

Inside the hyper market, Aphrodi hurried to take a trolley and went to the groceries section with his friends following behind. Soon after, they all separated in different section. The blonde started to pick the things he needed and without realizing, Nagumo took the trolley from him and wander around the section until he met Suzuno. The said man is picking different kind of milk and juices on his hands. A cunning smirk is plastered on Nagumo's face signaling that he had a tricky plan in mind.

With a swift move, he pushed the trolley in a high speed considering it's inside a hyper market. And …

_BUMP!_

The trolley hit Suzuno's ass and alas, the drinks in Suzuno's arms fall down to the floor.

"Haha! Got ya butt, silver-head!" laughed the Nagumo as he ran away with his trolley aiming it to Sakuma's direction (who is not too far away from him and Suzuno) ready to hit him just like the way he did to Suzuno.

"Damn it, Haruya! WTF do you think you're doing?! I'll get you for sure!" yelled the silver head as he put the drinks back to its place and ran towards the red-head. "Haruya! Come back here, YOU BASTARD!"

_BUMP!_

Now the trolley hit Sakuma's ass leaving him full in anger.

"Hah! Got ya, Jirou! Serves you right!" Nagumo grinned.

Sakuma turns his hand into a fist and circle it around Nagumo's neck, pulling him away from the trolley. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Ha-ru-ya~?" he asked with a freakin' scary tone.

"Jirou! You are suffocating me!" yelled Nagumo as he tried to break away from Sakuma's strong arm.

"I won't let you go until you explain me your so damned stupid idea of bumping into me!" Sakuma tighten his arm around Nagumo's neck making him difficult to breathe.

"A-air! I-I need air! L-let me go!"

"No fucking way, MUWAHAHAHA!"

"Suf-suf … suffocating … Y-you are suffocating me! A-air!"

" Oh, you want harder? Fine I'll tighten the grip!"

"Aagh, n-no! H-help! Somebody help me!"

"Ohohohohoho ..."

"Guys, you do know that there's somebody behind who wants to pass, right?" asked Suzuno who has now appeared behind Sakuma, Nagumo and the trolley.

The two boys turned their heads to the back only to find an old grandpa waiting for the two to give him away to pass with his trolley. Sakuma let go of Nagumo's neck and they both bowed down apologizing to the grandpa. But the old man doesn't seem to be interested and just pushes his trolley as soon as he was given a path to pass. After a second the old man disappear from the men's view, Sakuma hurried to circle his arm around Nagumo's neck; suffocating him again.

"Haha, you don't think that I'm gonna let you go that easily, do you? Hohoho …," Sakuma laughed evily.

"F-Fuusuke … h-help m-me!" Nagumo raised his hands in the air trying to grip air and let go of Sakuma's strong arm, as well as asking help from Suzuno.

"No fucking hell way! Not even in a million years! Don't tell me that you forget you've just bumped the trolley onto my ass! No way, man! Be prepared to have ya butt bumped by the trolley!" sniggered Suzuno as he took the trolley Nagumo used and prepare to push it to Nagumo's direction.

"Whoah! Nice idea, Fuu! I totally agree with you! Ha! Bump it fast into him NOW!" grinned Sakuma as he excitedly agrees with Suzuno's plan.

"No, no, no please! Please spare my life! Aah, I'm so sorry. I promise I won't do that again. Please, please, please, please!" Nagumo begged as he sobbed and still trying to get away from Sakuma's strong grip. But the two boys just ignored him as if he is just a thin air.

Sakuma smirked at the red head and put him in the right position to have his ass bumped by the trolley Suzuno will soon push but still have his arm around his neck preventing him to escape, while Suzuno pulled the trolley backwards a few steps before pushing it and ….

With the same evil smirk on the two boys, a shiver went down on Nagumo's spine. Now, Suzuno is so ready to bump the trolley into his victim's target. Although Nagumo begged for forgiveness,the two boys just didn't care and still smirking wide.

As Suzuno ran while pushing the trolley as fast as he could, Nagumo closed his eyes and screamed super loud that all of the people in the hyper market could hear him, while the smirk on Sakuma's face grew wider and wider every milliseconds and ….

**_BUMP!_**

"AAAARRGHH! STUPID FUUSUKE! I TOLD YOU TO BUMP THE TROLLEY ONTO HARUYA'S ASS AND **NOT OVER MY FOOT**, YOU IDIOT!" screamed Sakuma as he yelp in pain and let go of Nagumo's neck. "Fuck you, Fuusuke!"

The three men looked down to the trolley's wheel only to find Sakuma's foot under it. Oh yes, the trolley successfully did bumped into Nagumo's ass but unfortunately went over Sakuma's foot which is now probably very red. Well, they can't be sure since it's covered by Sakuma's shoe.

"Not my fault," replied Suzuno as calmly as usual. But is he really calm? "Well, gotta go. I need to meet Terumi right now, see ya, guys!" With that, Suzuno ran away leaving the trolley, Nagumo and Sakuma (and his poor foot which is still under the trolley's wheel).

"Damn it, Fuusuke! CAN'T YOU AT LEAST GET THIS STUPID TROLLEY AWAY FROM MY FOOT?!"

Silence ….

…

…

1 second

…

...

2 seconds

...

...

30 seconds

...

...

"Ouch! THAT HURTS A LOT, MAN!" yelled Nagumo as he just realized the pain in his ass after Suzuno bumped it with the trolley.

"Haruya, are you making fun of me?" Sakuma shot the deadliest glare he has to his partner.

"No man, I'm serious! IT'S FUCKING HURTING ME, DUH!"

With that, he got a punch on the head and a huge lump on his head appeared leaving him dumbstruck.

"You'll pay for this, Fuusuke! Don't you ever dare to run away from me! I'll get ya for sure!" That was Sakuma's loud yell Nagumo heard before he disappeared with the trolley in the direction Suzuno has just went. For a moment, Nagumo found it amusing that Sakuma could still run that fast despite his feet ... probably there might be some broken bones because Suzuno had pushed the trolley really, really HARD. And it seriously is SUPER HARD and AMAZINGLY FAST! Nagumo could clearly tell by the pain in his ass which hurts a lot. Who knows how long will it cure. That eyepatch-ed man surely always too extreme about revenge. He'll forget anything even the pain that might make him lose his foot.

"What is this all shit about?" mumbled Nagumo (still dumbstruck).

* * *

**Meanwhile, with Genda ...**

"Ah~ This massager chair sure is good. Ah~ This is heaven," Genda murmured as he enjoyed the massager chair he is sitting on. "Super perfect~ Five stars for this chair. I really need to buy this. One item but complete of head massage, back massage, hand massage and feet massage. Aah …~ This truly is heaven! What if –"

" –Ujirou! Koujirou! KOUJIROU!" yelled Aphrodi in which Genda returns back to reality.

"What?!" he snapped.

Aphrodi frowned by his reaction but soon just ignore it and rolled his eyes. "Did you take my trolley? I was sure that it was besides me then somebody took it, but I didn't see his face, was it you?" the blonde asked.

Now it was Genda's turn to frown. "Nope. Wasn't me. Why would I? And besides, why don't you just get another trolley rather than sweating over one trolley when you can even use another one? Looking at those groceries in your arms, the trolley must be empty, am I right?"

"Hmm …. Just checking. Seems like you enjoy that massager chair a lot. You'll buy that?"

"Hopefully. Can't you just get another trolley now before those groceries fall off from your hands?"

"Yeah. Well, I'll be searching for another trolley and –"

"TERUMI! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" The two men heard a familiar voice and turned their heads only to find Sakuma pushing a trolley like a lunatic in a rapid speed! WTF?!

However, everything was too late now. Before Aphrodi could do anything, the trolley bumped into him making him throw the groceries in his arms onto Genda's face and lap, and now his face is also leaning towards Genda's; their faces are now probably just a few centimeters. Sakuma let go of the trolley and backed off a few steps away, scared of how would Aphrodi threatened him.

Genda's face is now a dark red color of thinking dirty things, while Aphrodi's face is dark red of embarrassment and anger towards the eyepatch-ed man. And the other customers who are seeing this scene? Well, they can't took away their glance at the duo; some with jaw-dropped, some with their mouth wide opened, some are thinking about dirty romantic things like what Genda is thinking (they thought that Aphrodi is a girl, that thing should be normally obvious. And you can't blame them for it), some started to whispers and others couldn't help but blush too. Sakuma? He was freaking scared right now that he started to sweat heavily.

Genda closed his eyes as he started to put his arms around the blonde's waist and pushing him closer, but Aphrodi hurried to pull himself away from the lion-head and slap him really HARD making it redder than his face was when Aphrodi's face is in front of him only a few centimeters away.

"No fucking way, Mister Lion-Head! Not even in a million years! I'm STRAIGHT! Don't do anything stupid or whatever or you'll get the worst out of the worst! Be grateful that I'm being kind to you for now, thanks to that eyepatch-ed guy!"

"But you know, I still don't believe with the fact that you are a actually a man."

Aphrodi was about to screamed something but then shut his mouth before any letter eascaped from his lips as he recalled what happened two weeks ago.

The five men were on weekends and decided that they'd go to a hot spring for some relaxation. Unfortunately Genda got a call from his work saying that they needed him for an emergency for leaving the brunette cursing the whole way and missing the time of going to the hot spring. And thus, he's the only one who didn't get to see the proof that Aphrodi is actually a man (and Genda is the one doubting the most of Aphrodi's gender. Well, who would not doubt such a beautiful leaving soul's gender?) since he didn't come along with the others when they went to the hot spring for a bath and dinner there; not to mention that Nagumo and Suzuno could hardly believe that Aphrodi is actually a man. Oh, and they were also surprised that Sakuma is the same as the blonde leaving the two men thinking why can't their friend trust them about that matter?

"Oh, just shut up!" That was th eonly thing Aphrodi could say as he throws a plastic of flour (is it the right description/ words to say? =w=) onto Genda's face making his handsome face all white as if he's a ghost, and with that, the blonde shot the freaking scariest deadly glare anyone would ever seen in the world, and the lucky someone to achieved it was Sakuma Jirou!

"Jirou! Whadda'ya think you're doin'?!" hissed the blonde.

"I-I'm sorry, Terumi! I was looking for Fuusuke, but then I accidentally bumped into you along with the trolley. R-really. I-I didn't meant it. Please forgive me!"

But the blonde just ignore him and took a baguette (French stick bread) from Genda's lap and accidentally hit Genda's chin leaving him whine in pain. He uses the baguette as a bat and now he was chasing Sakuma with it trying to hit him WITH EVERYONE AROUND WATCHING THEM!

"Get back here, you dumbass Jirou! I'll get ya head for sure!" yelled the blonde as he kept on swinging the poor baguette to the right and left and as he kept on running.

"I. am. Sorry. Terumi!"

"There's no mercy for you! NONE! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE SO I CAN HIT YA HEAD REAL HARD WITH THIS AWESOMELY STRONG BAGUETTE, MUWAHAHAHAHA!"

"Somebody, help!"

Now, not only did they lose their pride, but they're also looked super dumb and embarrassing in front of the public. And it leave Genda mentally face palmed himself.

* * *

**Back with Nagumo!**

Nagumo sighed deeply as he stokes his butt.

"Oh my God, my ass hurts a lot. Fuusuke is as strong as usual. How dare he bumped that trolley so hard like that making my ass as the target? That is so evil," Nagumo whined but then stopped on his way when something catches his eye. It was … Suzuno! And Suzuno was like ….

'_What the hell is he doing?_' asked Nagumo to himself.

Suzuno is looking to the left and right almost like as if he's going to cross a crowded road full of cars, trucks and bla bla bla. Nagumo smirked and decided that it might be a fun thing to surprise him. Or … is it?

He grinned and carefully walks towards him. When the silver-head was off guard he appeared out of the blue and screamed right NEXT to his ears ….

"BOOO!"

"EEEIK!" Suzuno shrieked as he pushed Nagumo away from him making him fall to the open fridge which is filled with beef and meats.

"Aaah!"

"Ha-Haruya?" asked Suzuno as he realized what he just did.

"Yeah, it's me bro. And why the hell do you need to shriek like a girl and push me like that? You look way girlier than that God-wannabe, if you ask me," answered Nagumo as he sat up and stood away from the freezing freezer.

"It's your fault for scaring me like that. And look at what you did! Now nobody's gonna buy that meat you just sat on. And hopefully Aphrodi wouldn't pick it," sneered the silver-head.

"Hmph! Thanks to you! And not only that, my ass hurts a lot because you made it as a target of your stupid trolley pushing!"

"Hey! For your information, my ass still hurts too, you know! And it all because of YOU!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Say, where's Jirou? I hope he's not around here."

"Ha! You admitted that you're scared of him!"

"You know how scary he could get if you made him angry. Not just his appearance which resembles a woman, but also his attitude!"

"Well, at least he's not Terumi. That guy's _waaay_ scarier than him."

"Yeah."

"…."

"…."

"…."

…

…

…

…

…

"Look! It's a mini trolley!" exclaimed Nagumo in a happy tone. "Listen, we're equal now, right? Now let's snatch that mini trolley away and have fun with it before any kids lays their hands on it!"

Suzuno jaw dropped upon hearing his friend's words, but before he can complain, Nagumo dragged him by the wrist and he hurried and took the mini trolley.

"So, what are we gonna do with it?"

"…."

"Haruya?"

"No idea."

Just as Suzuno was about to snort, the red-head pushed the mini trolley (softly) with one hand and let it bump into Suzuno's leg gently. The said man tilted his head to the side a little and giving the other man a complete confused look.

"Which one of us could fit inside this trolley?"

"Say what?!"

Nagumo rolled his eyes hearing that comment.

"Are you actually telling us to get inside this tiny trolley?"

"Yup." It was now clear that Nagumo had completely forgotten about the pain in his ass.

"You're mad! You've been acting all strange today!"

"Yup. And that is thanks to Genda's horrible homemade food."

Suzuno then recall what happened this morning. Genda did cook for them that morning and his food was … well, it was super horrible. Aphrodi, Sakuma and Suzuno vomited their food at their work at lunch time. Even Genda himself the cook vomited his food as well. Only Nagumo isn't, despite him also saying that it was horrible. Probably that's why he is acting all strange now. And the reason they came to the hyper market is because Genda literally wasted all their food stock for his horrible cooking experiment. He indeed has a good intention and wills, he even woke up the earliest only to make breakfast for all his friends … although the result is super bad. It was quite funny for Suzuno to recall it back.

"Hn. You wanna take the lead to get inside this minute trolley?"

Nagumo rolled his eyes again. "Fine if that is what you want."

And so, Nagumo tries to fit himself inside the mini trolley. But boy, it was so small that not even his ass could fit in.

"Oh fuck," the red-head grumbled. "Alright, it may not be comfortable but here I am, I am inside the mini trolley now."

"This is so stupid! So plainly stupid! The stupidest thing I ever know! What should I do next?" asked Suzuno. Oh, Suzuno, if you know that what Nagumo is doing is so stupid, why are following along with his plan?

"Ummh, I don't know. Push me … maybe?"

Now it is Suzuno who is rolling his eyes. He knows that this thing Nagumo doing is extremely stupid, but he pushes him anyway, ckckckck ... And God, Nagumo is so heavy plus the mini trolley is so hard to control.

"This is … so … stupid! And … you are … extremely … heavy! Just how heavy do you weight?" scowled Suzuno.

"I don't know."

"Ugh."

With a lot of effort, Suzuno managed to push the red-head.

"Harder, Fuusuke! Harder!" cheered the boy inside the minute trolley.

"I am … trying … to … push, idiot! I am … pushing!"

"Breath in and out then push, in and out then push, in and out then push. Again! Breath in and out then push, in and out then push, in and out then–"

"Are you trying to teach me how to give birth or what?!"

"Well, you sound like as if you're giving birth … from my point of view."

_BAM!_

A good, nice strong punch landed on Nagumo's head creating a huge lump.

"Did you mean that YOU sounds as if you're giving birth? Shut your big moth and I'll show you my strength!"

Just as he was told, Nagumo shuts up pretty well and Suzuno pushed the tiny trolley in full power. Soon, Suzuno losts it. He was now dashing like crazy ignoring Nagumo who is screaming for being pushed so hard and he kept on pushing and pushing and pushing and ….

_CRASH!_

The trolley crashed into a mountain stack of canned tuna, making it scattered around the floor and some even hit other people's head (and obviously also hit the duo's head).

"Oh, damn it! My head hurts!" whined Nagumo as he caressed his head. "My poor tulip, are you okay, my darling. Agh, stupid Fuusuke! How dare he damaged you, my sweetheart little tulip?"

Suzuno is jaw dropped seeing how his friend behaves. First of all, he didn't care what happened. Second of all, he's ignoring the people around him (not that Suzuno does care too) and hasn't got up from the mini trolley. And third, he is now stroking and talking to that non-living thing shaped like a 'tulip' on his head (hair might be real and does grow and dies (?) but not categoried in the real 'tulip').

"Haruya, you are seriously mad!" snorted Suzuno as he shook his head again and again. He was sooooooo ... whatever he was 'sooooooooooooo' of, Nagumo's action would definitely make everyone jaw dropped. Who would not?

Suzuno still shook his head and soon he lost it (again). He shook his head uncontrollably fast and continuously until it feels like as if it could fall of from his neck.

"Aaaaah! Help! Somebody help me! I can't stop my head from spinning around! Aaakh!"

Alight, now that is something dumber than what Nagumo did. Seriously? Shaking your head because seeing something stupid someone you know did and then lost control of it and ended up head spinning continuously and uncontrollably making it almost fall off from the neck.

"Aaah ...! Somebody help meeeeee!"

"OI! Snap out of it! Your head've been stopped seconds ago!" said a very muscular voice behind him.

Suzuno then stop screaming and snap out of his fear only to find a pair of hands holding his head.

"And so do you are mad, young man," said the voice again.

Suzuno turned his head around to see who it was, and to his surprise it was his old rival, Gouenji Shuuya.

"G-G-Gouenji?" shuttered the ice user.

"Why yes it's me. How're you doing? It's been a while that we haven't meet and …," Gouenji cut off his sentence as he look around his surroundings. "What a big mess you've made in the public."

Suzuno frowned. "Blame that tulip-sick guy, not me! He told me to do all of this! I know that this is stupid!"

"And you just stupidly did what he told you to do albeit you know this is extremely stupid; sitting inside a mini trolley when not even a kid can sit on it, dashing through the hyper market like that, crashing into a mountain stack of canned tuna and shaking your head and soon lost control of it making your head almost fall off from your neck? How clever," Gouenji said sarcastic and successfully shot by a deadly glare from the other man.

"Here let me help you," he said again as he gave him his hand. At first Suzuno stares at him doubtfully but then agrees to accept the hand and when Gouenji helped him got up, he carelessly stepped on a can and looses his balance.

Suzuno was about to help him but Gouenji stepped on another can and another can and another can. So in other words, he was stuck by the who-knows-how-many cans are there on the floor and keep on stepping in each one of them, loosing his balance. What worse is, Suzuno can't help him because he was dragged by Gouenji. THEY ARE STILL HOLDING EACH OTHER'S HAND! And now they look like as if they were dancing on the sea of canned tuna! What worse is that, a naughty teen who gots nothing better to do plays a loud yet slow and gentle music from his MP3 making everything even more awkward for the two men.

The people who are currently watching this are enjoying their view! Some even record this. The two men keeps on dancing and dancing on the sea of cans, until a scream break their concentration making them fall to the floor with some cans splashing (?) into their faces and some cans fall on their heads. Some cans even cracked open and the tunas are falling down on their faces. It's a good thing that they're in a hyper market, not in a farm or zoo. Who knows what kind of problems they could create with tuna smells on their body.

The screams belong to familiar voices for the two men and they are …

Aphrodi and Sakuma!

"JIROU! COME BACK HERE YOU STUPID BASTARD! I'LL GET YA HEAD FOR SURE SO STOP RUNNING!" yelled one voice.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" screamed the other voice.

And soon the figures appear clearly. Yes! They are Sakuma and Aphrodi. And Aphrodi is still swinging the baguette to every possible direction and SHOT! It hit a mountain stack of flours! But what amaze the people who watches this is, the two of them didn't realize that when suddenly their heads are punched by who-knows how many flour packets are there in which they started to looses their balance and fall to the floor with more flour packets falling on their heads.

"OUCH!" whined Sakuma.

"Goddamn, that hurts!" complained Aphrodi as he holds his head.

The duo beauties and people around them were about to make a ruckus when a voice stormed in.

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?! WHY IS EVERYTHING IN SUCH A BIG MESS?!" That was the voice which sent EVERYONE jumps up to the air (even Nagumo who was busy comforting his 'tulip' a second ago). It was ….

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"KUDOU-SAN?!" yelped Sakuma, Aphrodi, Gouenji, Suzuno and Nagumo altogether.

"YOU FIVE BOYS HAVE A LOT OF EXPLAINING WORK TO DO!"

"SHIT! Why should I have to get involved in this? I shouldn't have helped you to get up, ice-prince!" hissed Gouenji to Suzuno who is besides him.

"Hmph! Yeah, that should have been better! I've never called for your help, anyway!" hissed Suzuno back.

"Says the man who just screamed out loud for help for someone to stop his head from spinning around."

"Shut up!"

* * *

**In the Office ...**

"ANYBODY CAN EXPLAIN WHY IS THE MARKET IS IN SUCH A BIG MESS?!" Kudou's horrifying voice could be heard.

The five men (Sakuma, Aphrodi, Suzuno, Nagumo and Gouenji) gulped and stares at each other (God-knows-how did Gouenji and Suzuno returns back clean from all those tunas and their smells). Just now they were dragged to the office and ... hey! Why is Kudou's the one lecturing them? IT's not like he's the owner of the hyper market or what. Well, the owner of the hyper market is a good friend of Kudou. And now he's abroad, leaving Kudou the one in charge of the hyper market so … you could see the situation here clearly … hopefully ….

"WHO IS THAT KIND PERSON WHO WILL ANSWER MY QUESTION FIRST?!"

All of them pointed at Nagumo in an instant leaving the guy jaw dropped and giving a face of why-should-it-be-me?

"Yes, Nagumo Haruya. Tell me what happen RIGHT NOW!"

"I-It's a l-l-long s-s-story …," murmured the red-head in a fright.

"THEN MAKE IT SHORT, FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

Nagumo gulped once again and told the older man the whole story. Kudou nod and avert his sight to Aphrodi.

"YOU WERE NOT PART OF NAGUMO'S STORY (Nagumo didn't realize about Sakuma's and Aphrodi's screaming since he was still busy with his tulip). TELL ME YOUR STORY, AFURO TERUMI!"

"Eeeik! M-me?" asked Aphrodi as he pointed to himself.

"IS THERE ANY OTHER AFURO TERUMI IN HERE?!"

The blonde shook his head and pointed at Sakuma. "H-he started all of this."

"What?" snapped Sakuma. "How dare you! Blame Suzuno for it!"

"Excuse me, Mister Eye patch?" Now Suzuno joins in the conversation.

"I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED ALL OF THIS, THE POINT IS THAT YOU ALL GUYS INVOLVED IN! NOW, SPEAK UP IF YOU'RE A MAN!"

'_Oh, great. Super, super great. Now I wished that I am a woman like how the people said just when I just turned into a REAL gentleman (?), if it could drives me out of this crazy problem. Dear kami-sama, can I just turn into a woman this instant and run away from this room since this business is only for MEN like what Kudou-san said. And wait, is it even possible to exchange your gender? Arrghh! Ahufkj nvorem grn iahrgm;fgnkjnj. This is so stupid!_' Aphrodi screamed inside his head.

But it must be cute seeing Aphrodi as a girl. And probably a very looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong /crazy author!/ line would be in front of him in instant of men who wants to propose to her. And possibly that Chae Chan Soo and Hera would be in the very first line. Is there any man who wouldn't want to marry such a beautiful woman (if Aphrodi really did turn into a woman) with long, shining blonde hair, charming rubby eyes, sweet voice in saying every words (?) and such slim body? Maybe Kishibe doesn't want to, because he thinks that marriage are for adults and he's still too young to get married right now. Hey! Why are we talking about Kishibe right now? He isn't even counted as 'man'. He's still a young teen. Alright, we're too off from the story. Let's put this aside before Aphrodi gets mad. Back to the plot!

The five gulped again and Sakuma told Kudou about his and Aphrodi's plot. Kudou shook his head upon hearing the story and folded his arms.

"Really, I thought you guys are ADULTS now. I'm so disappointed at you! Including you, Mister Ishido Shuuji!"

Gouenji sweats heavily as Kudou pointed at him. He was now afraid, not with Kudou, but about his pride. His pride as Inazuma Japan's ace striker, as a doctor's son, as his little sister's big brother, as the fifth sector, as the holy emperor and as a part if the Gouenji family will be spoiled. But what can he do now? Nothing! Everything's too late now!

"Alright then, it's decided! WE'RE GOING TO THE MENTAL HOSPITAL!" announced Kudou as he opened the office door.

"Kudou-san! I have my pride! I'm the fifth sector and I'm still sane! I was just helping back then!" yelled Gouenji in defense. Of course he would refuse with this sudden stupid and weird request of Kudou. Really? Go to the mental hospital out of the blue? Okay, maybe it's not out of the blue, but ... telling the former fifth sector the emperor who rules soccer (?) to the mental hospital when he's still sane (or at least that's what Gouenji thought)?

"Hmm, you're an exception! Fine then, only these four men will go to the mental hospital," said Kudou finally from his thought.

"WHAT?!" exclaimed the other four men.

"Hold on a second," snapped Sakuma. "Genda's involved. Why isn't he here?"

"Oh, that's right. Well, I'll get that guy here in a minute. You five men stay here! Gouenji, you might not be going to the mental hospital but you'll still have to stay here. You hear me?!"

"… yeah …."

"Good!"

* * *

**With Genda ….**

"Oh, WTF? He's fall deep asleep here and snoring out loud plus the weird white make-ups (?) all on his face? WTF?!" exclaimed Kudou in disbelief.

You heard him. Genda is deep asleep while snoring so loudly on the massager chair. He even made a bubble from his nose in which make some other customers feel disgust; but the kids make fun and laughed at him instead.

"I guess I need some security guards to help me drag this lion head," Kudou whispered to himself.


	2. Oh Food, Oh Food!

**At the Mental Hospital ….**

"So, the five of them had anesthetic, huh?" asked Gouenji to Kudou who is standing beside him. Currently they're at the mental hospital watching the five men sleeping on the bed.

"Oh, wait a second," exclaimed Gouenji in surprise. "Where's Genda? He was sleeping here a moments ago!"

"WHAT?!" asked Kudou in a shock state. They were about to look around the room where could the lion-head gone but they stopped when they heard a loud snore from the corner of the room. Kudou twitched his eyes. GENDA WAS SLEEPING SOUNDLY ON A MASSAGER CHAIR EXACTLY LIKE THE ONE IN THE HYPER MARKET!

"How can there be a massager chair in here?" Kudou asked to the doctor who happens to just came into the room.

"Oh, that?" said the doctor calmly as he examined the papers in the clipboard he's holding. "It's a new massager chair this hospital just brought. Probably my men just puts it in the wrong room."

The doctor walks to Aphrodi's bed which is at the corner. "Anyway, who cares about that? At least he's sleeping right now."

"I got the feeling that that massager chair is the one the lion head sleeps on at the hyper market," mumbled Kudou.

"The blonde here is perfectly fine, he's just acting according to the situation" explained the doctor.

"Meaning?"

"Well, Sakuma dashed onto him with a trolley, right? And that must hurt a lot. He just reacted naturally like how other people would; gets angry and possibly beat the person."

"True enough."

"Probably that's because he had emptied his stomach at his work."

"You mean vomit?"

"Yes. From what I've discovered about the five men's weird behavior is because of the food they ate. This blonde had completely vomited the food he ate so he's perfectly fine. Nothing wrong."

"Thanks God, it'll be embarrassing for his students that their coach is insane."

"Well, … let's put that to the side. Same goes for Sakuma. Maybe the food had reacted on him since he doesn't vomit his food as much as the blonde, resulting him ignoring his surroundings."

"Hmm …."

"About Suzuno … unfortunately …."

Kudou and Gouenji widened their eyes super wide upon hearing this. '_He's sane?_' they thought at the same time. The doctor who realized this shook his head.

"No, he's not insane. Just … the food reacted at him more than with the duo beauties. He's more care-less with his surroundings, short-minded, playful, carefree, a bit childish, and just do what he was told to do."

"I see …," hummed Kudou.

"With Nagumo …. This is the worst scenario."

Kudou and Gouenji quickly widened their eyes again. This time is a lot wider than the previous one as if their eyeball could fall off to the ground. To be frankly, it kindda scares the doctor himself seeing those eyeballs fucking out. Well who would not? Eye balls fucking out? Isn't that something out of ordinary and freaky?

"He didn't vomit his food and it reacted giving him a lot of effects such as; childish, super carefree, care-less with his surroundings, thinking only about fun, freedom, playful, totally sort-minded, and somehow a bit crazy."

"So he has to stay here?" asked Gouenji to the doctor for the first time.

"No. They all five could just stay in a normal hospital. Their digestive is all the matter, after all," replied the doctor calmly.

"And how about the lion?" Kudou suggested.

"The lion's all fine. He also vomit his own food. The effect he got is just over-enjoying things he like and exhausted."

"Over-enjoying something he like such as that chair massager?"

"Yup. We'll I gotta go. The nurses are gonna send these five men to a normal hospital. They're perfectly fine. The doctors there will do something about their foods."

"Thank you very much," thanked Kudou as he bowed a bit.

"You're welcome."

And with that, the doctor left. An awkward silence embraced the two now-conscious men.

"Food problem, huh?" Gouenji murmured.

"Good thing it's only that," commented Kudou.

"Yeah."

"Never thought that food could create such a big chaos and turns people insane."


	3. Sane or with 'In'-sane?

**After a Few Days at the Inazuma Hospital ….**

Aphrodi, Suzuno, Nagumo, Sakuma and Genda are now still at the hospital. They've recovered well but the doctors are still curious with the ingredients and food Genda uses.

Every day is just a normal good day except … today. The five men's room are mixed together; Sakuma's bed is at the corner of one side of the room, Aphrodi is next to him, and next to Aphrodi is Suzuno, next to Suzuno is Nagumo and at the other side of the room is Genda (with a chair massager next to his bed the doctor had provided especially for him.

Sakuma is playing different kind of board games and now his bed is full of a mess. Suzuno is busy with his laptop, cell phone, iPad, iPhone and Nintendo Ds. Nagumo is watching the TV provided by the hospital in the room and Genda is happily enjoying his massager chair. How about Aphrodi? The blonde is busy polishing different types of toy-guns, God-knows-where did he got them from.

What's so out of ordinary form that …? Well, that would be ….

"YAy! Yay! Yay! Sakuma Jirou is the richest man of all people in the world! Yuuhu!" cheered sakuma as he throws the monopoly money to the air making it scatter all around the bed and floor. "Yay! No one matches with the '_richety_' of Sakuma Jirou! Woohoo! I am the richest man ever lived in the world! MUWAHAHAHA!" Sakuma cheered happily as he kept on throwing his who-knows how much monopoly money he has to the air and laughed evily.

That is what is out of ordinary with Sakuma. Suzuno is –feel free to choose whether he's worse or better in your opinion– busy with his electronic widgets. Yes, yes. But what matter is … he can't decide which one to use. Whether he should use his laptop first to work, or uses his phone to text his co-workers, or to use his iPad first for whatever reason he had or use his Nintendo Ds to play. He uses ALL off those widgets ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Expect what happen next ….

_CRASH!_

Suzuno's iPad fall to the floor and died.

"UWEE! My dear beloved, lovely iPad! OMG! Oh my freaking life! Oh, Life, how dare you to steal my iPad's _inochi_, Life? How dare you! Life, answer me, Life! You evil Life! How dare you! UWEE!" Suzuno sobbed as he got down from his bed and cries over his broken iPad.

"Oh my dear poor iPad-chan. Are you okay? Here, let me give you the kiss of life." Suzuno took his broken iPad on his hands and starts moving it around then exclaims, "For heaven's sake, my dear lovely iPad, I'm trying to help you here while you're trying to hide your mouth? WHERE IS YOUR MOUTH? HOW CAN I GIVE YOU THE KISS OF LIFE WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE IS YOUR MOUTH, iPAD-CHAN!" An idea then popped in his head when he saw the speaker in the iPad. "Oh there you are, Mouth-kun of iPad-chan," grinned Suzuno. "Just wait until I give you the kiss of life."

And then the silver head gives the kiss of life to the iPad through or on the speaker. After giving some kisses of life, Suzuno turned on the iPad on but only to find it still black and broken. "NOOOOOOOOOOO! MY iPAD-CHAN HAD DIED BEFORE I COULD EVEN GAVE HER THE KISS OF LIFE! NOW WHAT SHOULD I DO?! LIFE, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" And not long after that, he heard another crash. And that belongs to his laptop which had just sat cozily on Suzuno's bed a second ago and now it's scattered on the floor. "LAPTOP-SAN! DON'T DIE! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU! NOO! SOMBODY TELL ME WHAT TO DO NOW! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, LIFE!"

Nagumo watched Suzuno's action in awe. He is now watching the TV, but instead found Suzuno's suffering more amusing to watch than the TV show itself. But after some times, he got bored when Suzuno just jump back on his bed and bawl as he spins on it and keep on bawling making every of his electronic widget fall and broke on the floor. He altered his interest back with the TV. And something unexpected appeared on the screen.

"Who is that girl?" asked Nagumo as he examined from head to toe the girl in the TV screen and reads the name on the name label. "Hoshi … na … U … tau …, it reads?" And the girl starts to sing. Her voice is super lovely and Nagumo's eye swent all sparkly and hot. "OMG, what an amazing attraction!" Nagumo mumbled. Soon the person singing changes. "N-no, no! Wait! No! I still want to see Utau-chan singing! NO!" Nagumo screamed, but it was useless. No one bothers to listen to him and the TV changes its screen.

Two seconds later …. "Go, go, yeah, IWASAWA MASAMI-SAMA!" yelled Nagumo as he JUMPED oh his bed in excitement. "WOOHOO! Iwasawa-sama is so going to win! She's cute, hot and her voice is fabulous! KYAA!" After that Nagumo lost it. He got down from his bed, scratch all around the room making it looksmessier when it's already messy in the first place and search for a suitable material he could use for a mike. Yes, he indeed wanted to sing like the singers he watched in the TV and sing together with him/her as they sing in the TV.

He took Aphrodi's different types of hair brushes, empty tins of snacks, Sakuma's pair of clean chopsticks, a broom, empty dust bin, and some of Suzuno's unused broken widgets.

The hair brushes are used as the mike, the empty tin of snacks as the drum the chopsticks as the drumstick, the broom as the guitar, the empty dust bin as another drum and Suzuno's broken widget is used for making different kind of sounds. For Heaven's sake, how will Nagumo plays the guitar, drum, broken widgets and sing all at the same time when he has only two hands and the mike he uses isn't the one that you can put onto your ear and mouth like that?

"Yo, minna-san!" Nagumo cheered in a super 'girly' voice. "Thanks for coming to the Nagumo Ah-Haruya-sama Amazing concert! Thank you, thank you!" he exclaimed as he bows. But nobody is listening to him. Obviously; Sakuma's still buys with his board game, Suzuno is bawling over his _died_ widgets, Genda enjoying the massager machine and Aphrodi busy polishing his toy guns. But the red-head just kept on cheering. "Thank you very much, minna. Now, presenting the amazing Nagumo Ah-Haruya –sama singing. The song is called … The Almight Nagumo Ah-Haruya-sama! Ohohohohoho …~!" That is definitely not the title the singer sung in the TV! And if you ask where did the 'Ah' in Nagumo's name came from, nobody knows. Not even he himslef knows.

And the singer in the TV started to sin and Nagumo tries to imitate his voice. But the result is not so good. He probably be only able to follow the 'ah-ah', 'yeah', 'go, go, go', 'hahaha', 'ooh', 'wowowowow' and such. Even if he tries to imitate the other voice, it'd just sound like an unclear mumbling and his voice sounds to be quite hoarse.

"YAY!" he cheered as he finished the song. God, it was horrible. Thank fully the others aren't listening to him, or else they'd start beating him up if they do. "Thank you so much, minna, for listening to the amazing NGUOMA Ah-HAruya-sama! Thank you." From his voice could be heard that he's too excited to sing and his voice is worsen after that. He can't even pronounce his name properly (Nagumo Haruya = NGUOMA Ah-HAruya-sama) and the high-and-low tone got all mixed up.

While Nagumo is still happily singing, Genda is enjoying the gentle massage the massager chair provides.

"Oh, my dear lovely massager chair, Miko-chan," he mumbled. "I wish you know how much I love you. You're so kind to massage me like a pro the whole day. Let's get married, shall we?" WTF?! How can you marry a massager chair? That is so absurd! ISN'T THAT THING IS A NON-LIVING THING WHICH USES THE ELECTRICITY AS ITS ENERGY SOURCE AND DOES NOT HAVE A HEART! Bullshit!

He even named the massageer chair! Well, that's not the problem actually, in fact it's quiete normal amongst little children (?) since even Aphrodi also name his combs. Each comb, different names, but ….

"As soon as we recover and got out of this hospital, we could go out on a date and have fun together. After that we could get marry and live happily as a complete happy family. We could also make kiddies together. The babies must be cute; the combination of the handsome Genda Koujirou and with your amazing massaging skills, Miko-chan. Don't you think so?" The massager chair stopped massaging and Genda stood up and you won't believe what he do!

He … he … the ikemen goalie of Teikoku Gakuen who is known as the king of all keepers who can stop any shoots from every direction, Genda Koujirou, he … he …

…

…

…

HE IS LITERALLY LICKING THE MASSAGER CHAIR!

Yes! He indeed licked the chair as if it's a real woman ,and strokes it gently and whisper, "don't you worry. I love you for real. You are my sweetheart and I won't cheat on you. We could marry and live happily together. I'm sure you agree with that idea. Once we get out of this stinking hospital, I'll buy you the most beautiful ring for you. It's every man's wish to have a wife who can massage their husbands like a pro. I love you, my darling, Miko the awesomest massager chair ever!"

That was so stupid. Plainly stupid! Totally stupid! It's just so stupid from every point of view! Something is so wrong with this man!

Now let's move on to Aphrodi to give Genda and his beloved (stupid) massager chair some privacy!

Aphrodi is still busy polishing his toy guns from God-knows-where with a happy, silly grin on his face.

"There, there," smiled Aphrodi innocently at his toy gun in his hands. "Look, Pistol-kun! Now you're all clean! Ah, yes. Bazooka-sama, it's your turn now. Here, let Teru-chan polish you until you shine like a star. Hihihi …~" After that, he took a different gun and put the gun he previously hold in his hand on the bed gently and started to polish the new gun he just took like he did with his previous gun.

"Lalalala, lalala, lalala, lalalalalalalala …~ Polish, polish, polish, lalala~ Clean gun, clean gun, lalalala~" the blonde sung. "Bazooka-sama will soon be clean~ Now it's time for Snipper-chan's turn to be polished~ Lalalalalalala~ There goes Bazooka-sama, Pistol-kun and Snipper-chan's all clean! Woohoo! Now it's time for Sub Machine-san to be polished." He puts the three guns down and took another gun, but before that a fly passed by and it catches Aphrodi's attention. "A fly has detected. Let's move on into action! We got a mission here Bazooka-sama!" Aphrodi blabbered to the gun he called 'Bazooka-sama', a toy gun that can release little balls as the bullet.

"Alright, here goes nothing," so the blonde took the gun and ready to aim it in the fly's direction which was currently on Nagumo's shirt who is still busy singing a God-knows-what song he is singing. But the blonde wasn't listening to his song because he was just too serious in trying to aim the fly.

He aimed it (but hasn't shoot) … the fly flies to Genda's head … he avert the aim to Genda's head … the fly flies to Suzuno's broken phone … he aimed it to the broken phone … the fly flies to Sakuma's shoulder and …. "Annoying fly! Stop moving around for Heaven's sake!" shrieked Aphrodi as he shot the gun to Sakuma's shoulder and hit it really hard.

_DUK!_

"OUCH! IT HURTS A LOT YOU KNOW!" barked Sakuma in pain. "Just what the hell are you doing to my shoulder?"

"Yay! I did it!" the screamed, ignoring his friend, but soon he saw that the fly is now flying to the wall. "Damn it!" And then, without anymore a-i-u-e-o, the blonde shot his gun to the wall. But he missed and the fly's now on the table, he shot it again but missed again. That happens a lot of times already now.

"Bechu, bechu, bechu, dor, dor, dor, drrt, drrt, drrt," the blonde imitates the gun's sounds, but … is it really a gun's sound that he is imitating? What's with all of those 'Bechu, bechu'?

"Bechu, bechu, bechu! Hoho … almost close! Bechu, bechu, drrt, drrt drrt …." And …. "YAY! I DID IT! HA! TAKE THAT ANNOYING FLY! I AM VICTORIUS AND YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! Woohoo~!" He did really shot the fly, and now the insect is lying on the floor helplessly and dead. "Terumi-sama is the strongest man ever lived in this world, MUWAHAHAHAHA!"

And that's for Aphrodi's case. Oh, not to mention that Sakuma throws a glass bottle at his head afterwards; thanking him for shooting his shoulder.

"_Gila lu, gila! Gila lu, gila, _Sak!" the blonde cursed.

Sakuma tilted his head a bit, "what are saying blondie? I don't get you!" And another bottle landed on Aphrodi's beautiful face.

"_EDAN!_"

"I don't understand what you are talking! Stop saying nonsense, blondie!" And to stop Aphrodi from saying another 'ununderstandable words' or 'alien language' Sakuma rather call, Sakuma threw another bottle at the blonde face. But looks like that it's the wrong action to do, because now the blonde is saying even more nonsense.

"_SINTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN GG! Sinting lu, _Sak!_ Super edan _en_ sinting! GILA! EDAN! SARAP! SINTING! KAMVREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! Edan, edan edan. Edan~ Kamvret!"_

Sakuma is now boiling in anger because of not understanding what the blonde is saying and thinking that he must have gone nuts for saying things he didn't understand. Because he knows clearly that the words the blonde said is definitely not Korean!

"SHUT UP! Stop saying weird things, blondie!" And this time a vase landed on Aphrodi's shoulder. "What language are you using, anyway?!"

"Language? _GUE BICARA PAKE BAHASA GHAAOEEELLL!_ It's _GHAAOEEELLL_ Language, duh~! Never heard of it before? _NDESO! KUDET! CULUN! KAMSEUPAY!_ _KATROK! IWAK PEYEK! TAHU ISI! TEMPE BACEM! NASI KUCING! SAMBEL GONDORUWO _(is it even the right thing?)_! DADAR JAGUNG! TELOR ASIN! NDOK PUYU! SAYUR LODEH! BAKSO WEUNAK (?)! BUBUR KACANG IJO! NASI LEMAK! MI AYAM GORENG RASA KARE (?)! MAKJLEB DAH, MAKJLEB-JLEB-JLEB!_"

Sakuma who got really annoyed for not understanding his friend's language throws a lot more random stuff at the blonde.

"I told you to STOP saying things I don't understand!" the cyan-haired man screamed.

"_Ket mau yo je' gorong faham-faham wae eson ngomong opo? NDUESO TENAN kon iku yo, _Sak! _NDESO! N-D-E-S-O! NDESO! _It's called_ 'NDESO'_!"

"I told you to stop-"

"STOP THROWING ANOTHER THING AT ME! IT HURTS A LOT BRO! _LORO COY, LORO!_" And with that, Aphrodi throws his pillow at Sakuma's face to make him stop throwing random things at him.

* * *

**Outside the Room ….**

"I wonder what's going on inside that room," said one man.

"Ah, yeah. That room's really noisy. I can't sleep with all its noise!" added an old grandpa.

"It sounds like a war. What illnesses are the patients suffering in that room?" asked a woman who just got out of a patient room.

"Should we check it?" said the man again.

A teen boy who is about seventeen years old came and smiled at the adults (and grandpa; he's still count as an adult, isn't he? … or maybe not …?).

"Don't worry, Father," the boy said. "I'll check that room for you. The noises are just too loud for anything ordinary, thus it might be something dangerous inside."

"Yeah, sure. But stop using such narcissism tone!"

"If that is your order."

Just as the boy took a step, a doctor came and greets them.

"What's going on in here?" the doctor asked.

"Doctor Irie!" exclaimed the woman in excitement. "There, in that room number 472! That room is very noisy! It's disturbing us a lot," she complained as she pointed at the room where the noises source is.

"Ah, I see. Then I'll go and check it. Kudou-san, Aihara, can you come with me?" The doctor turned behind where two nurses are. "There are five patients there so maybe I might need your help."

"Yes, Irie-kun," replied the nurse called Kudou Fuyuka.

"Of course!" cheered the nurse called Aihara Kotoko.

And so, the doctor and the two nurses went inside the room only to see ….

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" asked Irie in disbelief.

The room was all messy; board game stuff and electronic widgets are all over the floor, little balls are everywhere, random stuff is scattered all around the room and mostly … THE PATIENTS ARE ACTING OUT OF ORDINARY!

"What are you guys doing?!" Irie asked again.

"Hold on a second, aren't they Sakuma-kun, Aphrodi-kun, Suzuno-kun, Nagumo-kun and Genda-kun?" Fuyuka said as she pointed at each of them along with their names and tilted her head to the side a little.

"Oh, nurse-san, you know me?" Aphrodi snapped with his eyes sparkling.

"Afuro Terumi-kun, better known as Aphrodi-kun, right?" guessed Fuyuka.

"100 marks for you!"

"Okay, okay. So, how have you been? You've been good and not making any problems, right?"

"Un!"

"Good boy, good boy!" Fuyuka stroked Aphrodi's head like as if he's a dog, and Aphrodi happily let her be with his eyes all sparkling and suddenly a tail appeared from out of nowhere; making him more alike with dogs.

"Teru's happy that someone still knows him," the blonde sniffed still with happiness.

"Yes, yes, Fuyuka knows Teru-kun."

Irie and Kotoko sweat dropped seeing the two.

"What are you doing, Fuyuka?" asked Kotoko.

"You're making him as if he's a dog," added Irie.

"Teru doesn't mind being a dog as long as the owner is nurse-san," beamed the blonde in which Fuyuka also starts to sweat dropped.

"Yes, yes. Fuyuka will be Teru-kun's owner."

"Teru's really happy!"

And with that, the blonde is accompanied by the purple head.

"I don't get what's going on in here," murmured Kotoko.

"Whatever. Let's just leave that blonde with her and we could talk with the other patients."

"Yeah. You're right, Irie-kun."

"Of course I'm right! I AM the DOCTOR."

"Yeah, yeah. You ARE the DOCTOR."

Before the two hospital staffs make another action, Nagumo approached them.

"Whoah! It's the doctor!" the red-head exclaimed. "You two must come over here to listen to me singing, right? Alrighty then! NGUOMA Ah-HAruya-sama will sing a special song for you two called 'Prince Tulip of the World'. Let us START!" And with that, a spot light appeared from nowhere and shone on Nagumo. The red-head started to sing.

"Prince Tulip of the World! One, two, three, go. START!

_I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world__  
__Life in plastic, it's fantastic!__  
__You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere__  
__Imagination, life is your creation__  
__Come on Barbie, let's go party!_"

Guess what is Irie's and Kotoko's reaction seeing this? Yes! They both jaw-dropped seeing this. Well, that is to be expected. Oh, c'mon! Who would not jaw dropped seeing this? This … this … Nagumo is … is … HOW IN THE WORLD DID HE TURNS OUT LIKE THIS?! Even the name of the song's title and the song are COMPLETELY different. What the hell?!

"What was that?!" asked the two.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you all! Thank you!" Nagumo bowed in front of them. "Thank you for listening to NGUOMA Ah-HAruya-sama. Thank you."

"I thought your name was Nagumo Haruya?" Irie asked.

"Unbelievable," Koto mumbled. "And WHO WOULD WANT TO UNDRESS YOU, ANYWAY?!" And thus, the mumble becomes a scream.

Now it was Genda's turn.

"Wow, Doctor! Did you come here to meet my fiancée?" he asked. "Meet my fiancée, Miko-chan the amazing massager chair! TAADAA! She's cute, isn't she?"

Kotoko laughed and rolled on the floor while Irie's hair is now sticking all over the direction and his eyes are sore; full of disbelief.

"BWAHAHAHA~! Y-YOU'RE MARRYING A MASSAGER CHAIR?! Hahahaha! OMG, this is just too funny! Hahahaha!"

"Aihara!"

"Hahahaha! BWAHAHAHA! THIS IS JUST TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY! BWAHAHAHA–"

"AIHARA KOTOKO! STOP LAUGHING ALREADY!"

"Ah, yes." And Kotoko stood up. "OMG, Irie-kun, don't you find that funny?" She asked as she wipes off the tears in her eyes.

"That was STUPID! Mister, you must be kidding me!"

"Hey! Don't you dare to make fun of my dear Miko-chan! Even if you're my doctor, I will give you no mercy if you dare to insult Miko-chan!" Genda barked and then kissed the massager chair and whispers to her, "don't listen to them, Miko-chan. They're the one stupid. I will always love you no matter what and well get married soon enough. Don't you worry, everything will be fine!"

And with that, Kotoko returns back laughing and rolling on the floor as she tears started to roll down her face. Aphrodi and Fuyuka watch this in awe while Irie watches this in disgust.

"Oh, what kind of illnesses are this patients suffering?" growled Irie as he examined the paper on the clipboard in his hands. "Let's see … their doctor is Gouenji Katsuya. Damn! I should have asked him about it first!"

"Hey! Are you a doctor?" asked a voice no other than Suzuno's.

"Well, what do you think?" Irie hissed.

Suzuno step down from his bed and took his broken laptop and shove it to Irie's face.

"Pardon me?"

"You said that you're a DOCTOR."

"Yes, I am a DOCTOR! But it got nothing to do with your laptop, Suzuno-san!"

"It has!"

"Which is?"

"This laptop is dead!"

"So?"

"IT'S BECAUSE **YOU** ARE A **DOCTOR** YOU SHOULD MAKE IT ALIVE AGAIN! GIVE IT THE KISS OF LIFE ALREADY! I'VE TRIED TO DO THAT BUT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE IS ITS MOUTH AND IT WON'T WAKE UP BECAUSE I AM **NOT** A **DOCTOR **AND YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT THEN, SINCE **YOU** ARE A **DOCTOR!**"

"What is wrong with your brain, Madam? This thing is NON-LIVING THING so you CAN'T make it back alive! Then you should buy a new one!"

"First of all, I am NOT a woman! He's the woman!" Suzuno pointed at Aphrodi.

"SAY WHAT?!" the blonde scowled.

"C-calm down, Teru-kun. I-I'm sure he's not serious," Fuyuka tries to convince him to calm down.

"Okay," the blonde smiled at her and waggle his tail and motioning the girl to stroke his head again as the dog's owner.

"Second of all, my laptop IS a LIVING THING! It can sing, it can read, it can write, it can talk and it can sleep!"

Irie was about to yell again but he tries to calm him down. '_Calm down, Naoki. Calm down. You are a doctor and you should be calm, probably he's having brain problem, so calm down alright? Remember that you are carrying the name of the Irie family_,' he told to himself in his mind.

"Fine, if you insist, Mada–"

"I am a MAN!"

" … Mister," Irie corrected himself. "I'll take that to the electronic hospital and now you go back to your bed and sleep!"

"Here's more!" Suzuno shove his other electronic widgets onto Irie's face, and Irie reluctantly took them from him and then pointed at Suzuno's bed.

"Now go to bed," he commanded. Suzuno hissed but gets back to his bed, anyway. "You two too, Misters!"

"No way, I will stay here by Miko-chan's side! I'm not going to that bed! Nu-uh!" The lion-head refused and sit on his fiancée instead.

The doctor rolled his eyes and took a glance at the red-head. "To the bed!"

"No way! NGUOMA Ah-HAruya-sama still wants to sing!"

Irie huffed and fish inside his pocket and got his phone. He then dials a number leaving the red-head raised an eyebrow.

"Hello, Irie's here. Can you turn off the TV channel of room … room … room number 472 please?"

"No, no, no! No please no! Don't! I'll go to my bed but please don't turn the channel off! Please, please, please!" And Nagumo throws the hair brush he's holding to Genda's massager chair making him curse and whatsoever about him hurting his so-called-fiancée and rushes to his bed and then curl himself with the blanket as if he's going to bed.

"Oh, the patients change their mind. Don't turn it off. Thank you so much, and sorry for disturbing your work. See ya later." And he hangs off. "Good boy," the doctor huffed and then heard a whistle coming from the corner of the room.

"I thought Doctor Irie Naoki, the hottest and genius doctor in Inazuma Hospital is rich, but I was wrong," smirked Sakuma.

"Excuse me?" Irie frowned as he put his phone back to his pocket.

"Huhu, from your phone I could tell that you are no match with my _richety_."

"Now, now, what are you talking about?"

"Hehehe … you wanna know, huh?" the eye patched man laughed in a weird tone. "Taaraa! Look I have lots of money and I am the RICHEST man in the world, MUWAHAHAHA!" he showed Irie all of his monopoly money which was quite a lot. "MUWAHAHAHAHA!I know what you are thinking right now! Yes! I am the richest man in the world! Muwahahahaha! Ohohohoho –uhuk uhuk uhuk …."

"Dumbass," commented the doctor. "That is just MONOPOLY money and it doesn't worth at all!"

"What did you just say?! How dare you! This money worth it a lot! I finally able to beat that penguin and won all of this money! Just admit it that you are JEALOUS of me!"

Irie look at the penguin Sakuma pointed but it turns out to be … "THAT IS JUST A STUFFED PENGUIN AND IT IS NOT ALIVE! Just what is wrong with all of your mind, people?!"

Sakuma gasp hearing the brunette's words. "HOW DARE YOU TO INSULT MY BEAUTIFUL LOVELY PENGUIN PLUSHIE _OTOTO_! He is ALIVE! And he is my friend whenever I go to bed! Don't you ever dare to insult my penguin again, you hear me!"

Irie jaw dropped and Kotoko rushes to Sakuma's bed.

"Uwaaa … how cute! Where did you buy this plushie? Irie-kun, buy one for me in my next birthday please?" beamed Kotoko as she caressed the penguin plushie.

"Hey! Don't touch that! It's mine!"

"Oh, please let me hold it for a few minutes."

"No!"

"Please~"

"No!"

"Meanie!"

And Kotoko and Sakuma fight over for the stupid penguin plushie leaving Irie full of anger right now.

"**ENOUGH OF THIS**** STUPIDITY!** (free bonus packet of broken caps lock + bold + underline)," he screamed out loud making all of the people in the room almost jumps up to the air and shut up very well. "This is super ridiculous," the doctor stormed. "I have decided that these men are insane and they need to be in the mental hospital now!"

"I am sane, for goodness sake!" refused Sakuma as he shook his head.

"SILNCE!" the doctor yelled again making the eye patched man hides behind his pillow.

"I am calling Gouenji right now so you guys better behave! Aihara, Kudou, make sure they don't do anything stupid anymore while I go call their room doctor!"

The two women nod their heads and Irie leaves.

Silencen ….

"This is awkward."

"I know."

"Hey, why not we make a ruckus?"

"Not allowed!"

"Tch, so? What should we do now? That brunette sure took a long time just to call a stupid doctor."

"Stop it! He's your doctor, don't you ever dare insulting him! If it weren't because of him, you guys won't be healthy enough to make such a ruckus!"

Maybe you're wrong Kotoko and maybe Sakuma is right. It's actually because of the DOCTORS that had made them gone INSANE.

"Are you talking about Irie or Gouenji?"

"I could see why if you're defending Irie since he's your husband. As long as I could be Fuyuka's dog, I don't care about anything!"

And there goes the sweat drops on everyone else's head excluding the blonde. Really? What did Irie or even Fuyuka herself had said that made him become Fuyuka's dog? No one remembers what did they said that involve dogs.

"Yes yes, Teru-kun's a good boy!"

"Un!"

"You are being too kind with him, Fuyuka-chan."

"Why so kind with that idiot?"

"Shut up! You guys are just jealous! Ne, Fu-yu-ka~"

Another sweat drops for the rest (including Fuyuka). What is wrong with this blonde?

"Ahahaha …."

"Hey, what are we talking and discussing about?"

"…."

"…."

"..."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"No one's gonna answer me?!"

"Because we don't know, Koujirou!"

Poor Genda. No one knows how to answers him.

"Yeah. So much for the ice freak who thought he's a genius!"

"Zip it, Mister!"

"Whatever."

Another silence ….

"Arrgh! I can't stand silence!" barked Sakuma. "Someone do something about it!"

"Shut up! Neither of us knows how, so shush!" shushed Kotoko.

But then a lizard appeared on the wal and it's quite big too. Almost as big as a salamander, catches everyone's attention. SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! It's a lizard! Then that means ….

"Kyaaaa! _CICAK_! _CICAK_! IT'S A _CICAKK_! DISGUSTINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!" screamed the blonde as he throws random things to the lizard, but to no avail. "_TOKEKK!_"

That's what they've been expecting. Aprodi becomes a lunatic whenever a lizard appears!

"It's a lizard! I hate lizard!" yelled Kotoko as she jumps onto Sakuma's bed.

"M-m-me too. I'm no good with the lizard," Fuyuka shutters.

"_CICAK_! IT REALLY IS A _CICAK_! EIIEW, DISGUSTING! GET AWAY YOU FREAKING UGLY _CICAK_! GET AWAY! STUPID _CICAK_!" the blonde shrieked as he kept on throwing random things to the lizard who is now trying to escape from the blonde's 'attack' by crawling along the wall of the room.

"What is this all '_cicak_' about?" asked Nagumo as he 'protected' his head from the 'attack' by using his pillow over his head.

" '_Cicak_' refers to 'lizard'. That's Aphrodi's own language he made and this is so not good! Blondie! Stop throwing things already, will ya?" snorted Sakuma.

"EEIIWW! IT'S _CICAK_, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! THE MOST DISGUSTING ANIMAL EVER! GET AWAY YOU STUPID LIZARD _CICAK_ FREAK!"

"I don't know about that lizard as the most disgusting animal, but I agree with the 'eeiiww' part," commented Genda as he dodged a random thing Aphrodi just threw.

"EIW! DISGUSTING! HOW CAN I MAKE THIS _CICAK_ FREAK GET AWAY FROM HERE?! AAGHH! SH!T! I'M OUTTA RANDOM THING!"

Now the lizard is crawling on the wall behind Genda.

"Alright Scar L-kun, Bazooka-sama is tired right now. It's your time to shine, Scar L-kun! C'mon! Let's rock n' roll!" Aphrodi yelled as he throws his 'Bazooka-sama' gun onto Sakuma's face and took another toy gun which he called 'Scar L-kun'. And he starts shooting the lizard with the gun. It may be just a toy gun, but it does really shoot bullets (although it's little balls or such instead).

"Bechu, bechu, bechu! Huahahaha! Get lost you freak!"

"Aggh! Blondie! STOP IT!" shouted Genda as the little balls fall on his head. But then, a miracle (?) happens. The ball hits the lizard and making him fall onto ….

"YAy! yAy! BANZAII! BANZAII! I hit the _cicak_! I hit the _cicak_! Yay! Yay! Banzaauii! Bnzauii! YAY! YAY!" And the blonde did a victory dance ON his bed. He was too happy that he even mis-say the word he said (Yay = YAy, yAy. Banzai = Banzaauii, Bnzauii).

Hold on a second! Aphrodi might had shooted the lizard, but the lizard obviously fall off from the wall. And where did it land on?

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! DISGUSTING! Aaaghh! LIZARD BLOOD! There's lizard blood on my pyjamas!" shrieked Genda as he throws the lizard away from his shirt. "Get away from me, you filthy creature!"

But the lizard is still alive. And guess what did the lizard do right now? Guess the unexpected guess!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"AGGGH! NOW THE LIZARD IS CRAWLING UNDER MY PYJAMAS! WHY WON'T YOU GO AWAY?!"

Genda opened his pyjamas and throws it in the air, trying to remove the lizard from his body.

"Hey! Don't throw your pyjamas on my face!" complained Nagumo whom become the spot where Genda's pyjamas landed on.

"AGGH! Get away from my body, you FREAK!" screamed the brunette again as he throws the lizard away.

"Fuyu?" asked Aphrodi with an innocent face of curiosity when he realized that his so-called-owner blushing madly and shuts up too good; and so does Kotoko. After a few minutes, silent embraces the room.

Then it hit Aphrodi.

"NO! FUYU, DON'T LOOK AT KOUJI! LOOK AT ME! TERU IS YOUR GOOD DOG!" the blonde whined as he started to LICK the purple-haired girl to make her snap out of it with puppy-dog eyes. Frankly, it's somehow kindda disgusting being licked like that.

And well, it success pretty well.

"OH! I'm sorry, Teru-kun. Yeah, Teru-kun's a good boy!" Fuyuka said as she strokes the blonde's hair again, but with her face still all flustered red.

"YAY! I love Fuyu!" And the blonde cuddled again ignoring the blush on the woman's face.

Genda, Nagumo and Suzuno sweat dropped seeing this, and so does Sakuma actually but soon stopped when he realized red spots on his bed.

"KOTOKO! DON'T NOSEBLEED HERE ON MY BED! YOU'RE DESECRATING IT!" the eye-patched man screamed. Now all the attention move to Kotoko. The orange haired girl's face is all red –a lot redder than Fuyuka's– plus she's nosebleeding right now.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe an insane man like you has such a hot six-packs. How come in the world is that?" Kotoko murmured as she kept on starring at Genda's body –it is indeed just like what Kotoko described; a perfect, hot, six-packed, muscular body. Let us all go 'Whoah!', one, two, three, go! Double you, egh, ouw, eh (?), egh; W-H-O-A-H!Anybody volunteering to nosebleed right now? It's your choice :3– ignoring the her nosebleed.

"Hey! My body is only for Miko-chan!" twitched Genda, and there goes Kotoko anime-fall right now.

"SHIT!" she cursed.

"Where did the lizard went?" asked Suzuno.

Everyone frozes. That's right, they've been forgetting about the lizard all this time.

Genda looked at his hand, the lizard is now on his hand.

"DISGUSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGG!" the brunette shrieked.

And there goes the poor lizard flying onto Nagumo's beloved lovely 'tulip'. Aphrodi gasped as he saw the lizard flying and he starts to shoot at the lizard again, despite its flying. Since it landed on Nagumo's 'tulip', the 'tulip' reluctantly becomes the victim of Aphrodi's 'attcack'.

"Oh, no! No, no, no! Stop it! NOOOOOOOOO! My beautiful lovely tulip! Aphrodi, stop it! Agh, stupid lizard don't spoil my TULIP!" Nagumo cried and cried as he defend himself using his hands from the balls while trying to throws the lizard away. "Shoo! Go away from me, you stupid lizard and NEVER COME BACK!"

And now the lizard flies again. It was about to land on a flower vase until Aphrodi shot it and it flies to a different direction and ….

"Aggh! Not on my bed! Not on my bed! NOT ON MY BEDD!" Suzuno hits the lizard after it landed on his bed on the blanket with his pillow. "DIRTY ANIMAL!"

"Fuu! Get away from my victim! I'm the one that will destroy it!" And Aphrodi shot Suzuno's hand making him stop from hitting the lizard.

"Eiiew, horrible creature! Get away from me! Shoo! Shoo!" Just like Nagumo, Suzuno shove the lizard away by … flapping his blanket to the air. Making the poor animal flies. And again, Aphrodi shoots it, and thus the lizard landed on Sakuma's penguin plushie.

"MY DEAR PENGUIN PUSHIE!" the eye-patched man squeaked and flicked the lizard away. His flick was really strong that the creature flies to the air again.

"This time you will TRULY die!" the blonde screamed and shoot the lizard multiple times again. Right at the same time, the door slammed open and ….

"WTF is going on here?!" That's … Gouenji Katsuya! And he was … glasses –less? Not to mention that Irie is behind him.

And …

_PLUP!_

The giant lizard flies on to Katsuya's face and guess what happen next?

"Don't move, Gouenji-san. I'll shoot that lizard right now!" Aphrodi squealed as he prepared his gun as if he's a pro shooter.

_CLICK!_

That's the sound of the gun fired. The little balls doing as the bullets role are dashing in the sky to whether attack Gouenji Katsuya's face or the lizard (either of them are the same) in a slow motion giving more epic effect until …

"AAGHH! MY EYES!"

"Ha! The _cicak_ finally leaves our room! YAY! It's my victory! Wooohooo!"

"STUPID BLONDIEE!"

"Haha, lalalalalalalal–"

_CRACK! BRUK GEDEBUK!_

"Aaah! STUPID BED! How dare you to broke your legs and let me fall?!"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

THE END (?!)

* * *

**K/N: So … how was it? Sorry if it wasn't funny at all. Bad humor, I know. The author's still a newbie and this is her first humor fic in her whole life, after all.**

**Alright, why are you guys staring at me like that? Oh, is it because I said 'the author'? That's right, I'm not the author. It's me, Kishibe :D You might SOMETIMES (not always!) saw me popping with her while reviewing stories X3****  
****"K/N" stands for "Kishibe's Note", it's not a typo X)**

**I'm doing the Author Note here because the author is busy with something. And about the Author Note at the top? Well, she spent a little time writing it then left. This was supposed to be uploaded a few days a go but Jantai's a bit busy and lazy because she's occupied by a web called Moshi Monster. Yeah, you got that right, that site! That one! That little kids site! | www. moshimonster. com | Silly and childish, I know. But she's still a kid after all. From the outside she might be a First-year in Junior High, but from the inside she's a total kiddo! She's just turning out like this because she's really bored as hell.**

**And now you won't believe what she's busy with if I tell you. She's … she's … SHE'S CRYING OVER HER LOST MIRAI SENTAI TIMERANGER DVD AND ALMOST TURN THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN JUST BECAUSE OF IT! Even more stupid, silly and childish, yeah, yeah. True. But this is what makes Youlan Jantai different from any other girl :)**

**Anyway, sorry for the horrible grammar, bad punctuation, typos and most of all for the lame jokes..**

Note:

1. If you guys got confuse at the last part, the giant lizard gets down from Katsuya's face and ran away. Not long after, Aphrodi-kantoku's bed's leg got broken since he had been standing on the bed while shooting the lizard and then he falls down.

2. And you might realize that Jantai slightly "borrowed" characters from Itazura na Kiss, Shugo Chara/Doki Doki/Party and Angel Beats.  
-Hoshina Utau from Shugo Chara  
-Iwasawa Masumi from Angel Beats  
-And Irie Naoki and Aihara Kotoko from Itazura na Kiss. Why didn't she wrote it as "Irie Kotoko" instead of "Aihara Kotoko" you ask? Well, Kotoko has a weird (or so Jantai thought) habit of calling her husband with his family name, so she was scared if those of you who hadn't watched that anime got confused. So, yeah. Now you get it her point.

3. You guys might think that lizard aren't that scary, and why would she uses lizard here? Lizard's Jantai's least favorite animal, with that she could (at LEAST) use the words better than using other animals since she would also freak out like that (well, not as crazy as Kantoku and his friends, of course).

4. About the massager chair? Jantai's brothers! It was inspired by them. If they saw a massager machine somewhere in the hyper market for free try (or sometimes with coins too), they'd fight for it. So, there you go.

5. Why should it be Aphrodi-kantoku, Sakuma-san, Suzuno-san, Nagumo-san and Genda-san? Because they five are Jantai's top favorite characters. They will appear together more in her upcoming stories. Everyone have different ideas, and this is hers. She loves those five together.

**Thanks for reading and … PLEASE REVIEW! Jantai always go crazily happy to see review. Flame? Feel free to flame the author with writing tips, advices and suggestions! Say anything about this fic. Even if there's something you don't like about it? Just say it honestly. Reviews Jantai loves the best is when you comment about her grammar, punctuation, vocabulary, suggestion, advices and such (although she never gets one).**

**Special Thanks To:  
-Neko and Niky  
-Guest  
-loving'it4321  
-RandomGirl777  
-Roze Hime-sama**

**Who had reviewed/favorites/follows this fic. Yes, we made it as a three-shot since it was too long~ But the content is just the same, except for SOME typo corrections and little stuff. But the basic is just the same. It made Jantai super happy. You guys have her eternal gratitude! :D**

**Thanks~ :3****  
****-Kishibe Taiga & Youlan Jantai**


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